Growing up I’ve always had big aspirations for myself. Like many young athletes, I dreamed of being a huge star, playing in college, in the Olympics, all of it. I would feel super legit doing drills in my basement all through middle and high school thinking about how eventually all

This morning I write to you after it has been so difficult to find the words. I have been pretending. Pretending that the transition from a life filled with structure and routine to a life absent of that has been a walk in the park. Nothing too challenging. Here is

Across all the different sports I’ve played, all the different teams I’ve played for, I’ve gathered quite the collection of clothes and equipment. Shirts from spring hockey tournaments, jackets from all-star teams, skis that don’t fit anymore, and four years’ worth of college shirts, shorts, sweatpants, hats etc. My jerseys

I lived a sort of monastic life in which I swam, ate, studied, and slept, in that order. I was a woman on a mission to achieve every goal I wrote down. But 12 years later, as Ivy Championships drew to a close, I noticed a giant void, not because of the 20 extra hours of free time I now had, but because in the first time in my life I didn’t have any goals to diligently and resolutely strive toward…

Fluctuating thoughts. Bipolar thoughts. Mixed thoughts. No matter what you call them, each of these expressions are characteristics of my current relationship with football. Each of these expressions sum up to describe why it is/was so difficult for me to express my feelings about no longer playing a sport that made up such a large part of my identity for the majority of my life…

I love hockey. I have loved hockey since… forever. I honestly do not remember a time in my life when I didn’t love hockey. Like many sports, hockey is not only a platform for athletics and competition, but a platform for fun…

Being prepared for the unexpected is essential to being a ski racer. The amount of variability in the sport is almost endless. The weather, the snow, the course set, my equipment and my body are all things that change from day to day. In the end, the person who is able to find stability within the chaos is the one who will continue performing at the highest level. I’ve found that the more I prepare for an unknown future, the more comfortable I am adapting when it arrives…

Mine is not a story of a career ending injury or a forced departure from my sport. I wasn’t beaten or bruised out of the game I loved, and my time on the ice wasn’t unjustly cut short. Rather, mine is the story of a reluctant retirement…