As a kid growing up, I had always envisioned myself playing college football. I played on two teams for about 5 years before making the transition to high school ball. In the spring, you would find me playing both baseball and lacrosse. I didn’t love lacrosse that much, so I thought that baseball would be my spring sport in the future. However, for some reason, my parents convinced me to stick with lacrosse. I played JV as a freshman, still focusing on and holding the same resolve for a future in football. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year was when everything changed for me. In June, the recruiting coordinator for my lacrosse team reached out to me. He told me that if I send him a list of my top 11 schools, he could get me committed to play college lacrosse by the end of the summer. At the time, I took that claim with a grain of salt. But, I still sent him my list. After a few summer tournaments, all of the the sudden I was receiving calls from interested coaches. It all happened so fast and, by July, I went on my first unofficial visit to the University of Pennsylvania. Since my brother, Stephen, played football at Dartmouth College, I had always viewed it as one of my top schools. A few weeks later, I went on an unofficial visit there. The second I left the coaches’ office I knew that was where I wanted to be. I committed a week later on August 6, 2016.
Fast forward almost three years, and I was preparing to begin my freshman year at Dartmouth. I was anxious and excited for what was to come, and my first fall exceeded expectations. We officially began our season in February with a scrimmage against Sacred Heart. On their first offensive possession of the scrimmage, I got scored on. There’s no point in sugar-coating it – I was rattled. I played fine throughout the rest of the game, but that play daunted over me. The next week, my coach called me into his office and we talked a little bit about the game and how I felt. He explained that it is normal for a freshman to play a bit hesitant, as nerves sometime have the ability to control our performance. From that point on, I understood that I cannot let circumstances dictate how I play, and I must stay level-headed. I gradually improved my performance each game until the unfathomable pandemic sent us home.
COVID and the quarantine that came with it presented me with my first true experience of being a sidelined athlete. I haven’t suffered a major injury in my career (knock on wood!). Athletes across the world had to face extreme adversity head on. Not only was access to fields and gyms limited, but the immediate future of our athletic careers was uncertain and out of our hands. As most people did, I felt overwhelmed with confusion and loneliness. At this point, I thought back to that first scrimmage, and my consequential decision not to be affected by things I can’t control. I stopped worrying about when, how, and to what extent I will have a sophomore season. Instead, I focused on refining my skills, getting bigger, faster, and stronger.
As athletes, we cannot fall victim to the trap of worrying or stressing over what the future holds, as there is no benefit in that. We must attack this uncharted territory with a resilient feeling of optimism and consistency.
