Everyone has their own definition of success.
Throughout my playing career, I saw success as black and white: things either went according to plan (success) or they did not (failure). As it turns out, not much in my athletic career went as planned. In November of my senior year of high school I signed my National Letter of Intent to play volleyball at Ohio University. A few months later, the head coach took a different job, and I ended up going to the University of Iowa. After one year I decided to transfer to the University of Connecticut. At the University of Connecticut, I improved every year, and by my senior year, when I was finally playing the best volleyball of my career, I tore my ACL. Three weeks after surgery I ended up in the hospital with a post-operative infection that slowed my recovery. On top of all that, I had severe anxiety that went untreated until a year after my playing career was over.
As one can imagine, none of these events were what I had planned when I committed to play volleyball in college. When I looked back on my career, I thought it was a failure, and everything I put into sports was a waste because nothing turned out how I planned… Luckily, through time and therapy I have learned that my career was anything but a failure because I was willing to try new things.
When I tried new things like going to a new school, playing again after a severe injury, or going to therapy for my anxiety, and did not give up when they made me uncomfortable, I was succeeding.
I learned that success was in the growth that I was allowing to happen when I was putting myself out there in a vulnerable position and stretching the limits of my comfort zone. This was allowing me the opportunity to see what I was capable of and navigate my path in life. The path was not linear, and the doors that I wanted and thought would open for me in life did not – but that did not mean my life to that point was a failure. All that meant was that there was another door waiting to be opened with something even better behind it. Without those experiences that I now see as successes, I would not be where I am now.
As it turns out the door that opened for me was at Temple University in the statistics PhD program. This was not part of the plan when my playing career ended, and it was certainly not a door that I would have opened if not for all the other ones closing. However, I am extremely grateful to be on this path because of the professional connections I have made, the experiences I have had in a new city, and the way the rigor of the program pushes me out of my comfort zone every day.
It is beyond anything I could have ever imagined, and I am living a life I never thought was possible during my playing career. This opportunity has allowed me to find ways to reduce and take control of my anxiety, make new friends, and do well academically. These are all things that seemed impossible to me a year ago. It has not been easy, but I am now seeing that it has been worth it, and anything worth having in life takes a lot of sacrifice and perseverance because it is uncomfortable especially at first.
I encourage anyone reading this to look at the bigger picture of success because it is not black and white. Everyone’s journey is different, but the one thing they have in common is that they all begin with a single step. If you can look back on that one step and see the growth and the changes you have made since then, you are moving in the right direction. You are well on your way to building the foundation you need to succeed in the path of your life. Just remember when you feel like giving up, when you think you cannot do it anymore, that is the time to take a step forward. If your life feels like it is at the lowest point, listen to Wilson Phillips and “hold on for one more day” – take one more step forward because there is something better waiting for you. You just need to trust yourself and go find it. When you do this you are succeeding, and you will thank yourself for taking those steps later in life.
